The Comeback.

i should be back this time.
i don't know if i'll ever be consistent with my postings but i'll try.

lets just say alot has happened over the time.
and right now, i'm quite happy with where i am.

being the midst of finals, there really isnt much to write.
so i'll come back later when finals is done, then i'll start sharing.
hopefully i'll stick around longer this time. :)

grapefruit

shoulder pads may come and go, but a bff is forever.
because even when you're not sure where you're headed,
it helps to know you're not going there alone.

no one has all the answers,
and sometimes the best we can do is just apologize
and let the past, be the past.
other times, we need to look to the future
and know that even when we think we've seen it all
life can still surprise us, and we can still surprise ourselves.

pretty on the outside but bitter on the inside.

begin again

is it really that hard to find a guy that is truly gonna love you?

is being too easy to get a bad thing?

is being too hard to gets you turn down by the guy you like in the end?

oh questions questions questions.
i keep pondering.
when a guy finds you an easy target, he's gonna want more, need more.
but if you're being too hard to get, he might just give up in the end.
so, what should you do?
i honestly dont know.

but what i do know is that when you learn to please everyone but yourself, that's when you allow yourself to get hurt as well.
and the sad part? sometimes you just deal with sadness alone.

no, i never wanna fall apart,
never wanna break your heart
never wanna let you break my own
-Colbie Caillat-

random #1

Being in a couple is hard. And committing, making sacrifices, it’s hard. But if it’s the right person, then it’s easy. Looking at that girl and knowing she’s all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest things in the world. And if it’s not like that, then she’s not the one.

Marshall - How I met Your Mother

here comes goodbye

here i am again. writing.
i should really learn to be consistent with my posting. forgive me.

anyways, feeling bittersweet right now.
i dont know what i should feel anymore.
upset? angry? regret? happy? relieved?
i really dont know. my feelings is pretty mixed up right now.
i dont even know what i should do.
should i still talk to him? should i avoid him? should i still care about him?
but he already has a girl. which is way better than me. so i guess i'm not really need anymore.

i guess the biggest love of all one can give is that seeing the person you love be happy with someone even when that someone is not you.
its not easy for sure. but that's the only thing i can do.
be happy for them.

and to you, i dont know if you'll ever read this but if you do, here's to you:
i can only apologize for everything that has happen.
i wish i was the one who could be there for you when you were depressed,upset and lost.
but i lost my chance and you moved on.
i will no longer bear hopes of us anymore, neither will i still dream of a future with you (although i really wish so)
letting go is never easy but i'm gonna try. i might fall and break.
and it hurts inside, seeing you be happy with another a girl but its better to have one person get hurt than both or all three of us.
you were amazing, everything i wished for but i guess i wasn't appreciative enough of you.
i wish you all the best in your future. you'll achieve great things someday.
dont let the small challenges and hurdles bring you down as they only make you stronger.
i will always pray the best for you. :)
and i know you hate goodbyes but this is for real.

goodbye, lee tzelih.
please remember to always stay amazing and never once doubt yourself.



pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel, like your nothing;
you are perfect to me.
pretty pretty please, dont you ever ever feel like you're less than, less than perfect
-pink; perfect-

significance.

how much are you worth?
are you any important to people?
would they have a thought about my feelings?
am i likable?

often one of the very few questions I tend to ask myself over and over again.
a friend once told me that if I had to things to make people like me, then that person's not worth being my friend.
but then I wonder, what if he's a guy I really like?
do I still do the things that he wants me to do in order to get him to notice me and like me back to?
would the feelings be mutual and real after that?
so my friend goes on explaining that its a whole different story if love (or okay crush would be a better term :P) is involve.
sometimes them guys do things out of their league just to get the girl they like to notice them.
so its the same as us girls rite? we do things that we may not necessary like just to impress the guy we like.

we had whole talk/discussion on it.
haha. its was funny along the way and some truce to it.
psychology majors can just somewhat convince you. well that's just because they study human behavior and personality more in depth than any other majors.

I definitely learned a lot from that with a rough month back then and a guy.
Its really hard to tell what's on his mind and what he wants and expect out from me.
I always knew I wasn't good, hence I'm always trying to do things that pleases thinking that as long as we're talking like before means we can go back to where we were.
sometimes he does things that unintentionally hurts me and sometimes it hurts deep. but I never really told him because of my sensitiveness that got us apart. therefore, I just refuse to say much and suffer the hurt myself.
but I know I cant go on like that. It hurts in someways so I just have to think of other things to distract my thoughts but at the end of the day, I still think of it.
and now, lately, I dont know if the thoughts I initially had about us will turn out to be what it is.
perhaps, me letting go would be the best for both of us?
I dont know. I haven't heard from him since. and I dont want to make a decision that would hurt both of us.
I guess time will tell everything.

Here I was again tonight forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old tired, lonely place
Walls of insincerity
-Taylor Swift, enchanted-

ps: im sorry if anyone had to read that. just my random scribbles of thoughts.

semester 2

so my last update was a month ago. *oopsie*
but i guess the two pictures below would summarized my holidays much.
yeah, i'm lazy like that.

December

• Christmas dinner ( awesome massive fun ;] )
  
• new year eve celebration too. :p
  

January

• new year's
• celebrated new year's in Colorado. (awesome fun too! )
• i learn to ski and snowboard. oh and roller skate too! ;P
  
• i officially fell in love with snowboarding and i would definitely do it again some day.
  
• semester 2 has begun!
  

yeah, that's about it much.
i definitely started of my new year great with new visions and resolutions in Colorado.
and also came back as a new different person. hopefully things will go good for me this year.
i would love to see what the year has in store for me. :)